This Morning's Chapter...

...of Linnets and Valerians...

Education

Education is our path to true humanity and wisdom. By this I do not mean simply what goes on in school and university--which all too often turns out to be a path in another direction entirely away from both humanity and reason. I mean the broader process that engages us all through life. To be alive is to be a learner. Much of the learning we do takes place at home, in the family, or after we leave both home and college and begin the struggle to survive in the wider world. Increasingly, in a society shaped by technology that is continually changing, we need to learn a new skill: how to keep learning. We must be flexible and adaptable enough to survive in any circumstances. Even more important than flexibility is a virtuous character and set of guiding principles that will enable us to keep track of goodness amid the moral and social chaos that surrounds us.

~Stratford Caldecott, Beauty for Truth's Sake: On the Re-enchantment of Education

Gravy

Last night's dinner was a simple pot roast, but I changed it up a little and it was better than ever. And it didn't take much extra time or effort.

Instead of adding water to my green-with-white-speckles roasting pan, I added a carton and a half of beef stock. I put the veggies (carrots, onions, potatoes) in first and then sprinkled them liberally with salt and parsley. Then I placed the roast (still frozen because of a miscommunication with the kidlets) on top of the veggies, where it sat above the level of the broth and the juices would run down onto the veggies.

After roasting for 4 hours (I told you it was frozen), we removed everything from the pot and covered it with foil to keep warm. Normally, I serve the juice alongside the roast, but yesterday was cold (for Arizona) and rainy and I felt like making some gravy.

I got out my trusty Culinary Artistry and looked up 'beef'. We strained the juice into a pot, which I then turned on to simmer after adding some chopped shallots, basil, red wine, and a bit of salt and white pepper.

On another burner, I made a blond roux in a small skillet. (I would have made a darker roux, but my family was as hungry as a pack of wolves, so I thought it best to speed up the process a little.) Once the roux was cooked sufficiently, I added a little of the broth to the skillet to begin the process of loosening up the roux to make it easier to incorporate into the broth. Then I whisked the loosened roux into the pot of broth and served. It was the first beef gravy I've ever made, and the best beef gravy I've ever eaten.

I used to make gravy with milk shaken together with flour and poured into whatever base I was using. In order to avoid lumps, I had to stand over it and whisk it constantly (and hope I'd added enough flour to thicken it, but not too much milk to dilute the flavour). In order to get rid of the floury taste, I had to simmer it for quite awhile (whisking the whole time). It was a hot and steamy business.

By using roux, the gravy comes together much more easily and I know it won't taste floury, since the flour is cooked more efficiently in the skillet than in the base. And since the butterfat coats the flour particles, they don't clump together, which gives me a smoother gravy with less effort.

SDG!

Shakespeare?

I recently finished Shakespeare by Another Name, by Mark Anderson.

I didn't even know there was any controversy regarding who wrote the Shakespeare canon until about 7 years ago. My curiosity was piqued and I had to research it when I first heard. I haven't done a lot of research about the different people who've been put forth, but I enjoyed this book, written from the Oxfordian perspective, i.e. that Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford is the guilty party.

I know this isn't an earth-shaking puzzle (at least for most of us), but I do love a mystery. This also doesn't change the power and beauty of the canon, but I think it adds to my understanding of it and I'm looking forward to watching/re-watching the plays again with the new perspective gained from this look at the plays through de Vere's eyes.

SDG!

Boys and Girls

I recently finished Why Gender Matters and Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D.

The first gathers the results of studies conducted in the last decade or so on sex differences between boys and girls, men and women. Dr. Sax outlines differences in the development of the eye, the ear, and the brain; responses to stress; perception of pain; and so much more. It was absolutely fascinating and has helped me understand my husband and sons better - it helped me understand my girls better, too.

Throughout the book, Dr. Sax discusses the effect this information should have on how we educate and raise boys and girls. There is much food for thought.

Caveat: Dr. Sax includes some explicit information in a few of his chapters. I'd also caution that he doesn't have a biblical worldview and really disagreed with his conclusions about discipline.

Boys Adrift focuses on boys, natch. He begins by asking what in the world is going on with so many boys and young men and their complete lack of motivation (no, not all boys and young men, but a goodly portion of them; anyone see Failure to Launch?). He presents five factors that he thinks can be linked causally to this situation: school structure, ritalin and its compatriots, endocrine disruptors, video games, and young men's lack of relationships with a community of older men. Again, there are many, many footnotes and much research has been done.

Both books have really gotten me thinking. Although I've never bought the fiction that the only differences between the sexes have to do with reproduction, these books bring much data and many particulars to the discussion and, I think, would be quite helpful to any mom of boys.

SDG!

Diagnoses and Cures

I'm reading a novel and got to a place that has stopped me cold.  I'm not going to name the novel or the author because I really don't think it's that great and don't want to recommend it, but an exchange between a couple of characters is yet another example of a trend I've been noticing the last six months or so and if I don't write about it, I won't be able to finish the book.  It's an okay right-before-I-turn-the-lights-out-to-go-to-sleep read, in other words, I'm not finding it completely unpleasant, but I also don't care enough about the characters that I simply must read another chapter.

One character says to another:

'You have to make allowance.  […]  She's got eight kids and a husband who spends even more time in the Mucky Duck [the local pub] than Seamus Galvin.  What we need is some decent kind of contraception … like this pill thingy.'

Those of you who know me know that I have a basic problem with the very idea of contraception, but that's not what I'm going to focus on {shocker!}.

Read it again.  This poor mom's problem is diagnosed pretty well.  Her husband isn't acting like either a husband or a father.  But look at the logical hiccup when we come to the proposed cure - more contraception and fewer kids.  Maybe this mom and her children would be better served if the local community took a two by four to her husband's head and insisted that he man-up and care for his family instead of running away from his responsibilities.  Would she really be better off with two kids and a husband who abdicated his role as husband and father?  And which kids shouldn't she have had?

I saw the same thing in Atlas Shrugged.  Ayn Rand identified certain societal problems with laser-like accuracy, but her solutions were empty and unworkable, as substantial as a cobweb.  I see the same thing going on in Washington, Phoenix, and our local city council chambers.

We must think clearly about both problems and solutions.  If we don't consider deeply and follow a problem all the way to the root, our efforts to help will merely make the situation worse.

SDG!

Vocational Reading: Motherhood, Home Education

Motherhood:
Edith Scheaffer's What Is a Family?
How to Raise a Healthy Child … in Spite of Your Doctor, by Dr. Robert Mendelsohn
The Five Standards for Safe Childbearing, by David Stewart
Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Ted Tripp
Age of Opportunity, by Ted Tripp
Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood, by Carolyn Mahaney & Nicole Mahaney Whitacre
A Full Quiver, by Rick and Jan Hess
A Mom Just Like You, by Vicki Farris

Home Education:
Norms & Nobility, by David Hicks
The Trivium, by Sister Miriam Joseph (I haven't read this through, but I've been dipping in as I re-work my approach to rhetoric and composition, logic, and grammar.)
The Case for Classical Christian Education, by Douglas Wilson
The Seven Laws of Teaching, by John Milton Gregory (haven't read this one yet, but it's on my shelf.)
Wisdom and Eloquence: A Christian Paradigm for Classical Learning, by Robert Littlejohn (I haven't read this one either, but it's on my list and has been highly recommended by those I trust.)

Add to the Home Education list biographies, history, science, logic, literature, math, economics, philosophy, etc.

SDG!

Vocational Reading: General & Marriage

I originally set up a list of 'vocational' books that have had an influence on me through the last 20 years, but the list ended up being absolutely huge.  I decided that it might be better if I divided the list out by topic. Some of these may be considered 'controversial', and you may not agree with everything written on every page, but that's okay. They've all had a rôle in shaping me. I hope to add to these lists as time goes by.

Womanhood in general:

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, by John Piper and Wayne Grudem

Discipline: The Glad Surrender, by Elisabeth Elliot
Feminine Appeal, by Carolyn Mahaney
Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
The Way Home: Beyond Feminism and Back to Reality, by Mary Pride
Missing From Action, by Weldon Hardenbrook (primarily for and about men, but his discussion of the industrial revolution's effects on the family and the subsequent rebellion of feminists against something that was much different than biblical womanhood is spot on and eye-opening.)

Marriage:

When Sinners Say 'I Do', by Dave Harvey
Love That Lasts, by Gary and Betsy Ricucci
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom (haven't read this yet, but it's sitting in my Amazon cart and the author comes highly recommended ;-D)

NB: if you decide to purchase any of these books, please put it in your Amazon cart directly from the link given. If you go to another page and come back to the item, it will no longer have my associate's code linked to your purchase. I've been an Amazon associate for a couple of years (meaning I receive a small percentage of every purchase of items I've linked to) and have yet to receive anything.

Coming up next: lists about Motherhood, Home Education, and Housewifery

SDG!

Breakfast List, Redux

Wow! What a response to yesterday's post! Cool!!

Regarding how I use the list: well, Patricia, you're more organized than I am. Right now, I never know how much energy I'll have when I get up (still tweaking meds), so I put the master list on the fridge door and then star the things we have ingredients for (almost everything). Then we decide what we'll have when we get up; often the kids decide. I have one son who loves baked oatmeal, and I've told him that, if he wants to make it the night before and put it into the fridge overnight, he's more than welcome to. He hasn't done so yet.

My kids pretty much cook their own breakfast (unless I have the energy to make pancakes or something like that). My little girls fry eggs, the older girls keep the granola in stock, the boys are good at scrounging.

And I have the hardest time with leftovers. If we have them, they usually end up as lunch, but we don't often have them. For example, I made two large crockpots of stew Tuesday evening and there was none left when we were done. When I was younger, I used to eat cold pizza for breakfast, but we never have leftovers anymore, especially when we make it ourselves.

I forgot to add to the list farina (like whole wheat cream of wheat) and crustless quiche (which, I guess could count as egg casserole). I have some corn grits, but they're pretty old and stale and tasted pretty bad the last time I tried them. The kids scramble eggs and wrap them in a tortilla.

I can't believe I forgot waffles! I think because I'm trying to cut down on purchasing pre-made food, but we have a couple of waffle irons and can make a double batch to pop into the freezer for another day.

I have a great breakfast book: Breakfasts & Brunches from the CIA (the link is below). Some of the recipes are a bit involved, but they're pretty good and offer lots of creative tweaks. I'm getting hungry sitting here looking through it!

I love the egg muffin idea, only I'm a bigger fan of bacon egg biscuit sandwiches (Drew stocked up on canned biscuits the last time they were on sale, and when they're gone, there's an easy cream biscuit recipe on Cook's Illustrated's website).

Here are the recipes I'd love to have:

breakfast tacos and egg casserole (unless it's like quiche, in which case, I'm covered) from Renee
oven pancakes and toad in the hole from Patricia
wheat berries (proportions of berries to water?) and muesli (what's the difference between muesli and granola?) from Carolyn

Link:
Breakfasts & Brunches

Norms & Nobility, I

I'm currently rereading Norms & Nobilityas part of my plan to continue to educate and challenge myself regarding the specific vocations to which the Lord has called me.

It's going slowly, but that's a good thing.  I'm taking more time to contemplate what I'm reading - multum non multa, deeper instead of more.  A few years ago, I found it quite helpful to blog through my notes from CiRCE and I think I'll do the same for N&N.  This isn't an overtly Christian book, but much can be gleaned.  

From Chapter 1: 'Virtue is the Fruit of Learning':

The purpose of education is not the assimilation of facts or the retention of information, but the habituation of the mind and body to will and to act in accordance with what one knows.

While Mr. Hicks has just quoted Aristotle, I'm reminded of 'be ye doers of the word, not hearers only,' and 'for him who knows what to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.' 

Later on, as he develops the idea of the purpose of education by comparing the life of pleasure, the practical life, and the theoretic life (or the life of the mind):

The life of pleasure eventually fades and exasperates the pleasure-seeker because it is not a life that is sufficient unto itself.  Pleasure demands a never-ending list of luxurious accessories, the acquisition of which wears man down with work and worry.  In the end, the pleasure seeker becomes preoccupied with what he lacks to complete his picture of happiness; gratification never catches up with his desire, and consumption consumes the consumer.  By the same token, the practical life falls short of completeness.  The wealth one acquires in a business is a useful thing, but as such, it exists for the sake of something else. […]

Dr. Hicks then goes on to elaborate on the theoretical life, or the life of the mind.

So we arrive at the theoretic life - not to be confused, as Professor Burnet (1976) warns, with the contemplative or passive life.

'What Aristotle calls theoria is emphatically an activity.  The fact is that he includes a good many things in it which we are too apt to regard as wholly different, things of which we fail to realize as he did the fundamental identity.  In the first place, scientific research is theoria, and no doubt Aristotle was thinking chiefly of that.  But so too is the artist's life, so far as he is not a mere artificer, and so is all enjoyment of art and literature. So too is the life of the religious man who sees all things in God.'

Aristotle defends the theoretic life as the true end of education and the source of happiness.  One does not require more than the bare necessities in life to achieve happiness in thought, nor is the active life of the mind dependent upon inherently unequal endowments of nature.  One need be neither strong nor handsome, well-born nor gregarious, nay, not even brilliant to participate happily in the theoretic life. […] [T]he theoretic life is the life of virtue, so long as we mean by virtue all that the Greek arete expresses: the life that knows and reveres, speculates and acts upon the Good, that loves and reproduces the Beautiful, and that pursues excellence and moderation in all things.

I would add to that last paragraph: 'by the power of the Holy Spirit, because of gratitude for the Gospel of Christ, and to the glory of God'.  His definition of virtue reminds me of biblical fruitfulness.

I must keep reminding myself that it's not about how much I can cram into my children's heads, rather that I teach them (through example and precept) to act on what they know to be true, starting with the gospel from which everything flows.

Norms and Nobility: A Treatise on Education

The Mother and Her Reading, II

Most of CJ's focus was on spiritual growth, developing an affection for the Saviour; as we read, so we think and as we think, so we feel.  In order to develop passion for the gospel, we must be reading books about it, books that will help us look at it freshly and to see new aspects of it.  We must strive never to grow familiar with the gospel.

So the first category of our reading must be books that care for our souls. Scripture is a no-brainer, but also we should be reading books that challenge us spiritually to examine our hearts, books that remind us freshly of the gospel, books that help us get a firm grasp on solid theology. Not all at once, but they should be part of the plan.

This applies to every believer. Yet it applies to moms at home because it affects our children as well as ourselves.  In a very real sense, we are pastoring and discipling our children as we raise them. Their souls must be a focus of our efforts. However, we cannot give them something we don't have. If Mom isn't experiencing a deepening faith and relationship with Christ, she can't pass that onto her kidlings, nor will she be quick to walk in dependence on the Lord. (Yes, Dad is the head of the family and ultimately responsible before the Lord for child-rearing efforts, but most moms spend more time with their children than dads do; we must be working along with our husbands, following their leadership, submitting to their goals; but often the time, effort, and day-to-dayness of raising children falls on our shoulders, not as a burden, but as a privilege.)

CJ also, rightly placed a specific emphasis on books about our specific callings. For those of us whose calling is to keep house and raise our children, this would include books about being a godly wife, a joyful mother, a skillful teacher. 

Books to help and encourage us in our home making activities: cooking, gardening, household organization, home crafts (sewing, knitting, crocheting, tatting, things that make a home and a life beautiful), the theology and philosophy of keeping house (there are many voices telling us that we are wasting our lives by devoting it to drudgery - we must remind ourselves of the truth of the high calling to which we aspire so that we don't grow weary in well-doing), leadership, bargain hunting, hospitality, cleaning tips, caring for the sick and elderly. The list goes on and on.

Homeschooling moms would also benefit from reading books about educational philosophy and practice as well as literature, history, biographies, logic, science, even some math books. Part of this is to equip us to help our children learn, but this type of reading also keeps our minds sharp. We may not remember everything we read, but we'll be much better able to point our children to books that will benefit them and we'll be able to discuss them together.   It is also an excellent example to our children of the joy of a lifetime of learning.

My intent isn't to overwhelm anyone by these lists of possible topics for us to read about.  I point them out so that we can be intentional in our reading choices.  I certainly don't read all these types of books at one time.  I have certain areas in which I lack skill or motivation and  I need to be reading books about those topics (my current focus in school is books about writing and teaching writing).  There are also certain areas of particular gifting or topics that appeal more to me than others; those are books I want to read.  These lists are more suggestions to get you thinking about your reading.  It's better to start anywhere and read one at a time than to feel so overwhelmed that one never starts.  I hope these lists lend themselves to a lifetime of reading.

Teddy Roosevelt said that those who read will be those who lead.  We live in a post-literate society.  It's not that people don't know how to read (although they may not have been taught how do it well), but that they don't see the importance of reading; they choose not to read.  We may feel that we're at home, not out leading in our culture, however, cultural change happens the way yeast works in bread.   'A little leaven leavens the whole lump,' is how Christ described the church.  Chesterton said that there is nothing more powerful than an average man and his average wife and their average children living their average lives to the glory of God.  Reading can help us do so, and do so well.

Next time, I'll list specific books that I've found helpful and that I think are worth reading and re-reading.

SDG!

The Mother and Her Reading, I

As I mentioned before, I've been slowly working my way through the Sovereign Grace Leadership series of podcasts, wherein, last summer, Josh Harris interviewed Jeff Purswell and CJ Mahaney. I'm amazed at how much of it I can apply in my life as a wife and home educating mom. While I'm not claiming pastor-status for what I do here, there are many parallels, so I thought I'd go through each podcast and share the things that occurred to me and how these ideas might apply.  However, I won't outline the podcast itself; better for you to listen to it in its entirety (it can be found through iTunes or on the Sovereign Grace Ministries website).

CJ's first point was about the importance of reading as a regular part of life.  If we want our children to become readers, it's important for us to model reading for them.  Read aloud to them; read books while they're awake and can observe you; rejoice with them as they learn to read; share your excitement when you receive the gift of a book.  If you save all your reading until after they go to bed, and don't talk to them about what you're reading, they'll think it's an optional part of life.  If, however, you share this part of life with them, chances are better that they'll catch your love of books.

CJ also emphasized planning our reading.  If we don't set aside time, if we don't plan which books we'll read, we won't read any or we'll meander through books and not benefit ourselves and our families as much as we could if we read more intentionally.

The plan may be to read a chapter or smaller section of several books each day, reading them slowly with time to digest the ideas.  Or, if you'd rather read one book at a time, you might read a daily, greater portion of one book, until you're finished.  The important thing isn't that our plans all look alike, but that we do what works for us.

Now, I do want to encourage moms of younger kidlets that grace is a necessary component of this idea.  Little ones demand a lot of time and energy, and if a little one isn't sleeping through the night yet, napping while the baby naps may be a better use of your time.  You may need to ease up on your reading for a season, or you may want to be more creative in carving out that time.  (I often had a book at hand when I sat down to nurse a little one.)  You may be able to listen to audio books while performing other tasks.  (That's something I'm not that good at - I need to see the words for it to make an impression.)  Please realize moms of littles, that there will come a time when you do have more time and can devote more of your time to reading.  There is a time and a purpose to every season under heaven.  Relax and flow with whatever season you're in now, thankful to the Lord for your little ones who grow so quickly and relying on the strength of the Lord to face these busy days.

A proper approach toward and priority of reading is a service to your family.  There have been many books I've read that have challenged my attitudes and thinking in managing my home, educating my children, and relating to others that my family has benefited from.  Reading, for an appropriate amount of time, is not selfish, but can help us serve more effectively.  (Reading can become selfish when it becomes more important than our children, our duties, our responsibilities, but that is probably rooted in selfishness and pride, not in reading itself.)

I've been finding that I'm fighting to maintain my concentration lately.  I was wondering why, and then I read an article that proposed the idea that time spent online, with its quick hyper-links and short articles, undermines our ability to concentrate (this is why I didn't include any hyper-links in my post today - I may begin adding them at the bottom rather than in the midst of the text, so they aren't such a distraction).  I think there's something to this and have determined to spend time each day reading from real books, away from the computer.  It is important for us to discipline our minds, loving the Lord with them, by reading real books: books that point us to Christ, helping us broaden our affection for our Saviour, as well as husband and children, inspiring us to creativity and fruitfulness.

Next time, I'll go through some of the categories of reading mentioned in the interview, along with some ideas of my own that those pastoral categories sparked.

SDG!

Tom Sawyer

I've found that I need to read a 'boy's book' occasionally. My sons seem like alien creatures to me at times and getting the inside view of a boy's mind through good literature helps me so much.  When I see my sons in literature, I'm reminded that maybe they're not so odd after all!

Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer is one of my favorites. It was so nice to re-visit all the characters. I especially love Aunt Polly and understand her reluctance to discipline Tom too severely.

I don't have many literary insights - they've all been stated before, much more eloquently and insightfully than anything I could offer, except that maybe this is one proof that classics don't have to be hard or dull reading.

SDG!

The Bird in the Tree

Finished this and it was wonderful!  It's the story of Lucilla Elliot and her home of Damerosehay, a refuge and sanctuary for her family, especially her grandchildren.  Her grandson David is about to do something that will tear the family apart for good.  Can she do anything about this?  What allies can she draw upon?  Will her efforts to create a lasting family legacy be brought to naught?

In addition to the deeply-written characters (the house is almost a character in its own right), Elizabeth Goudge lays bare the realities of human nature and of redemption, of duty and its close relationship to love.

This is one of those books that inspire me to work harder in my home for the sake of my husband and our children to make our home the kind of sanctuary Damerosehay is to the Elliot clan.  I fail at this far more often than I like to admit, but confession is the first step of repentance.

---

However, if you want to read this (and I highly recommend that you do), look for a used copy.   The new edition I purchased is missing a couple of pages of text.  Since every page in this book is integral to the whole, I missed some important bits.  I'm grateful to the friend who typed out and emailed me the two pages that were missing.  I'm going to format them so I can stick them into my copy to have when I re-read it.  

Three times in the last month, I wrote to the publisher about this problem (and other, serious problems in another of their books that I'll post about soon), but haven't heard back.  This publisher is working to re-publish all of Elizabeth Goudge's books, which is a worthy endeavor, but until it's done well, I can't recommend them.

SDG!

Reading Plan

I listened to 'The Pastor and His Reading', a recent episode of the Sovereign Grace Ministries podcast featuring an interview with C.J. Mahaney and Jeff Purswell by Josh Harris.  It was highly recommended by my friend Debra, (she's been pushing me - in a nice, this is good for me sort of way - to listen to the whole series) and I finally got started this week.  Even though it sounds as if it would be specifically for pastors, there is much there that applies to any Christian and especially any Christian homeschooling mom.  (Debra said the whole series thus far is quite apropos.)

Along with Scripture, I've been reading C.J.'s Humility, True Greatness, Jerry Bridges' The Discipline of Grace, and Thomas Watson's The Godly Man's Picture - all personally challenging.  But C.J. mentioned in the interview that we should be spreading our reading around.  He said that, in addition to these types of books, we should be reading technical commentaries as we study a book of Scripture, biographies (which I read occasionally), and the Christian classics (I try to fit the classics into our study of Christendom every four  years, but I may need to change my approach as I don't usually get through them - I can't count how many times I've started  Confessions and never finished it!).

With that in mind, I'm going to adjust my reading diet.  I'll cut The Godly Man's Picture down to a few times each week (Debra and I are discussing our way through it over coffee or tea or lunch each week, but we're moving slowly enough that I can more than stay ahead with that schedule).  I'll probably gulp down Humility pretty quickly, with the intention to re-read more slowly it at some point in the future.  I'd like to add in David McCullough's biography of Truman or Marsden's biography of  Jonathan Edwards and either my abridged Calvin's Institutes or a commentary on Philippians, which our pastor is currently preaching through (I'll ask for a recommendation if our church bookstore doesn't carry one).

C.J. and Jeff recommended reading at least an hour a day.  I love this idea and already come close during my quiet time, but I'm inconsistent.  I'm going to work on that in my life and I'm beginning to insist on that for the kids.  I also want to add in a re-read of Shopping for Time, by Carolyn Mahaney and will work on a tighter routine this week which I'll institute next week when we start school again.

SDG!

Far From the Madding Crowd

I've always been tantalized by that title, but haven't read the book until now. I was warned that Thomas Hardy is a dark and dreary writer. I liked this and didn't find the descriptions of sin oppressive, maybe because the perspective was that sin is sin.  (However, this is my first Hardy, so this doesn't mean that I won't find him dark and dreary in the aggregate, once I've read more of his works.)

The story starts with Gabriel Oak (aptly named on more than one level). He meets Bathsheba Everdene and is never the same.

Hardy's understanding of unintended consequences, sowing and reaping, sin, guilt, the maturity that comes after walking through pain, and the contrast between selfish passion and unselfish love make for a satisfying and thoughtful story.

While the main characters were well-drawn (even mediocre writers do this), I love that he took the time and effort to develop the secondary characters as well. In my mind, that's one mark of a good writer (of books, plays, and films). Every character leaps off the page as a unique person with a unique voice.

A few quotes:

[…] observed a brisk young man--Mark Clark by name, a genial and pleasant gentleman, whom to meet anywhere in your travels was to know, to know was to drink with, and to drink with was, unfortunately, to pay for.

They spoke very little of their mutual feelings; pretty phrases and warm expressions being probably unnecessary between such tried friends. Theirs was that substantial affection which arises (if any arises at all) when the two who are thrown together begin first by knowing the rougher sides of each other's character, and not the best until further on, the romance growing up in the interstices of a mass of hard prosaic reality. This good fellowship--camaraderie--usually occurring through similarity of pursuits, is unfortunately seldom superadded to love between the sexes, because men and women associate, not in their labors, but in their pleasures merely. Where, however, happy circumstance permits its development, the compounded feeling proves itself to be the only love which is strong as death--that love which many waters cannot quench, nor the floods drown, beside which the passion usually called by the name is evanescent as steam.

SDG!

Reading Today

Why am I reading 7 Steps to a Pain-Free Life: How to Rapidly Relieve Back and Neck Pain today? Because I woke up with the same headache I went to bed with, caused by my bad posture while crocheting yesterday during our Gileskirk discussion group. (Our printer isn't working and while I can lead a discussion with George's outline, even if I haven't listened to the lecture, I can't lead one without an outline. And I often jump ahead of the discussion when someone else leads it. If I have handwork, it's easier to keep my mouth shut unless I have something really important to say.) These headaches often last for several days and, when they don't knock me out completely, they do affect what I'm able to do while they last.

I really didn't want to suffer for so long, so I grabbed the book and read the part about neck exercises through the fog of pain. Then I did the first two exercises, followed by a couple others.

The headache is gone. As I worked through the instructions in the book, I could feel my spine re-aligning itself. The muscles relaxed and the pain is absolutely gone. I don't even have the halo I usually get as I recover. As proof, I'm able to post this (I usually can't get on the computer when I have a headache.)

This is a wonderful book. Not necessarily sit on the edge of your seat reading (on the other hand, sitting on the edge of your seat would probably be better for your posture), but one of the few self-help books that follows through on its promises. I highly recommend it.

SDG!

Nicholas Nickleby

I finished Nicholas Nickleby. I'm so glad Jenny told me to read it more as a fairy tale than as realistic fiction or I don't think I would have gotten through.

I love Dickens' way with words! Here are just a couple of quotes:

He was a tall man of middle-age with goggle eyes whereof one was a fixture, a rubicund nose, a cadaverous face, and a suit of clothes (if the term be allowable when they suited him not at all) much the worse for wear, very much too small, and placed upon such a short allowance of buttons that it was quite marvelous how he contrived to keep them on.

[L]et it be remembered that most men live in a world of their own, and that in that limited circle alone are they ambitious for distinction and applause. … Thus, cases of injustice, and oppression, and tyranny, and the most extravagant bigotry, are in constant occurrence among us every day. It is the custom to trumpet forth much wonder and astonishment at the chief actors therein setting at defiance so completely the opinion of the world; but there is no greater fallacy; it is precisely because they do consult the opinion of their own little world that such things take place at all, and strike the great world dumb with amazement.

Dickens is fun to read (for the most part), but I don't think I could stand a steady diet of him.  I wonder what it says about his view of the world that no one is redeemed?  The main characters are all purity or all evil.  The secondary characters are usually strange looking but have hearts of gold.

SDG!

Re-Thinking Marriage

I've been contemplating the purpose of marriage lately. I've also been leading the Pride & Prejudice discussion in our Gileskirk co-op and we just watched The Taming of the Shrew.

Our modern world (newpapers, celebrity magazines, self-help books, films, television shows - both fiction and nonfiction) tells us that the purpose of marriage is to live happily ever after. Marriage should be about each spouse's satisfaction, fulfillment, and contentment. A good marriage itself is thought to confer these things. The underlying assumption here is that either the efforts of my husband are what make me happy or his lack of effort makes me unhappy. And if he's not making me happy, then the marriage isn't fulfilling its purpose, and therefore is somehow invalid or disposable. However, Jane Austen and Shakespeare shared a different view.

At the beginning of Pride and Prejudice, both Darcy and Elizabeth have some growing up to do. Even though Darcy is smitten by Eliza's 'fine eyes', after Elizabeth's initial interest in Darcy is quashed by his arrogance, she never really expresses a strong physical attraction for him, but is eventually attracted by his character and the growth she sees there. I read once that, without Darcy, Elizabeth would have ended up just like her father, distant and disdainful; without Elizabeth, Darcy would have ended up just like Lady Catherine de Bourgh, proud and unyielding. In other words, Elizabeth and Darcy are right for one another because they influence each other to be better people.

If we compare Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship with the relationships of the other married couples in the book, we see how important this is to Jane Austen. Mr. Bennet doesn't even try to make Mrs. Bennet a better person, but lets her go on in her foolish ways. He doesn't seem to want to influence anyone for the better, but is content to sit back and merely laugh at the folly of others, including that of his wife and younger daughters. Charlotte and Mr. Collins also have no gentling effect on each another, content merely to exist in the same house, spending as much time apart as possible. Lydia and Wickham not only don't try to affect change in one another, but actually reinforce each other's folly and sin. The author's attitude toward all these couples is clear - they are not examples to be followed.

In The Taming of the Shrew, Petruchio doesn't love Katharina when he seeks permission from Baptista to marry her. He really wants her inheritance. He wants a wife, and because she's rich and he has no competition, she'll do. Katharina starts out hard, selfish, violent, lazy, ungrateful, unloving - in other words, a shrew. However, he, even with his less-than-romantic motives, is the right husband for her because he teaches her gentleness, duty, responsibility, gratitude, grace, and love.

Looking at the other couples (because foils can tell us so much about authorial intent), even though Lucentio and Bianca are head over heals in love, she has all the makings of a shrew as she rebels against her husband in the final scene; she may be gentle and beautiful on the outside, but it seems her heart doesn't follow suit. And Hortensio and the Widow, whom I suspect Shakespeare married to one another merely to give us another cautionary example as their courtship happens off-stage and out of sight, are in no better position than Lucentio and Bianca. Lucentio and Hortensio are losers in the wager of marriage because they have no influence over their wives.

Both Jane Austen and Shakespeare understood that the purpose of marriage is not our happiness, but our holiness

If the purpose of marriage isn't happiness, but holiness, unhappiness doesn't invalidate a marriage, or justify walking out when the going gets tough or boring and mundane. A husband isn't responsible for his wife's happiness. Rather, we are each responsible to influence our individual husbands toward godliness (not as a form of manipulation in an effort to make our lives easier, but out of love and even self-sacrifice, doing what is best for another) also eagerly expecting our husbands to influence us in the same direction.

Now, I'm not saying that marriage should be primarily a chore and a trial that we merely survive. However, we must realize that happiness in marriage is a result of focusing on the true purpose of marriage. As we strive to be more Christlike, iron sharpening iron, we will experience more joy. (This is just one more example of ethereal ideas having tangible consequences.)

Among all these couples in both works, whom do you think will end up being the happiest? My money is on Darcy and Elizabeth, and Petruchio and Katharina. And if they lived today, I bet they'd celebrate at least 50 years of marriage one day because they'd get through the tough times, even in a culture of easy divorce.

SDG!

Befuddlement

I've never been so frustrated and confused about whom to vote for.

God created society with four separate and distinct governing institutions, each with a separate and distinct sphere of authority: the state (civil government), the church, the family, and the self. If one of these institutions breaks down, it's not an option for the others to step in and take over its responsibilities; that leads to disaster. Instead, the other institutions must work to re-build that which has fallen, strengthening whichever one has broken down. Since the election is about the civil government, I'll focus there, but an understanding of this principle of jurisdictional sovereignty is key.

Civil government is responsible for (I may have forgotten a few, but this is the gist of what's been rolling around in my mind) …

• protecting our rights - not granting them (which the government has no power or authority to do); this includes the rights to life, liberty, and property, freedom of speech, freedom to practice our religion - well, read the Bill of Rights for the full list; you get the idea. This doesn't mean protecting us from our own bad decisions.
  
• defense - the military on a federal level, the police force and fire department on a local level
• regulating commerce - not to make business decisions for us or to decide on productivity levels or where we should invest, but to protect us from one another where necessary (we are, after all, sinners); includes infrastructure
• the judiciary - again, because we're sinners there will be crimes committed and there will be disagreements between people which need to be settled
• relations with other nations - including treaties and immigration.

That civil government governs best which governs least. Our Constitution gives the federal government very limited powers; given that inch, they've flown to the moon. The federal level of government should have the least day-to-day influence on our lives as it is farthest from us and therefore farthest away from our influence. Instead it has the most. Can you name your mayor? What issues are before your city or town council this month? I don't know, either.

In addition to that, I'm a fiscal conservative who doesn't believe in debt (the only debt we have is our 16 year-old mortgage and we're working to pay that off as soon as we can) or consistently living beyond one's means. Tax dollars spent by the government actually belong to the people who paid the taxes (something most politicians and recipients of government largesse have conveniently forgotten or never knew). I also believe that the free market, while not perfect (nothing sinful man is responsible for can be), is the best economic system ever devised by man, giving the most liberty to the most people and raising productivity and standards of living. (Recommended reading: Economics in One Lesson, by Henry Hazlitt and Basic Economics, by Thomas Sowell)

I'm a social conservative who believes that life begins at conception, marriage is an institution ordained and created by God, that parents are ultimately responsible for raising their children and do so with the support and encouragement of the local church and community, and that the family (as the main building-block of society) should be protected. I also believe that the family is primarily responsible for welfare by taking care of its own. If there's no family, or the family is unable, then the responsibility falls to the church or to private and voluntary endeavors. Private welfare requires contact with real people, real accountability, and real change; it doesn't sentence families to generations of poverty. We'll always have the poor with us, but membership in this group should be a temporary thing. (Recommended reading: The Tragedy of American Compassion, by Marvin Olasky and Bringing in the Sheaves, by George Grant)

So the question is, whom do I vote for? One of the major candidates is so far out of sync with the Constitution and biblical principle on all these issues that casting my vote for him just isn't an option. The other is one for whom I've never voted and whom I've deliberately gone to the polls late in the day to vote against (even though I knew Arizona would go for him). There are a few issues that separate these candidates, but they're simply different flavors of the same dish. Under both parties, government continues to grow, entitlements continue to mushroom, and our liberties continue to shrink. (Recommended reading: In Pursuit of Happiness and Good Government, by Charles Murray)

Do I vote for the lesser of two evils? Or do I vote for a third party candidate who shares my views on most of the issues even though he probably has no chance of winning? Do I vote principle or pragmatism? And is it really pragmatic to vote for the lesser of two evils?

No answers today, I'm afraid. Just questions.