18 June 2008

Theology of Wedding Planning

Anna mentioned something to me in an email today. She's been contemplating a 'theology of wedding planning'. This is a great thing to think about and I'm going to join her in musing about it.

First of all: (to quote CJ Mahaney) the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. 'What is the main thing?' you ask. As always, for those of us who have been regenerated by the power of Christ through the gospel - the glory of Christ and a focus on that saving gospel is the main thing.

Secondly: it's important to remember the purpose of a wedding - that two people end up married at the end of the day.

Community is also an important factor. Marriages don't take place in a vacuum. Even though it's a limited relationship between one man and one woman, what that one man and that one woman do in the privacy of their home has repercussions throughout the community. It works the other way, too. The community influences and underpins the marriage relationship. When two sinners say 'I do', they will need the help and support of that community to glorify the Lord in their marriage (back to the main thing). Sin always rears its ugly head and when it does, those not so emotionally involved, yet who love the couple, need to come alongside and help (help each party see his or her own sin, repent, and then to forgive the sin of the other as well as to provide accountability). Biblical marriages happen in the context of community.

How does that work out practically in the arena of wedding planning? Ah, that's the question! I'll continue this train of thought as I talk with Anna about it.


1 comment:

  1. A problem I anticipate, as I have lived through others' dealing with it, is who to put on the guest list. In a church I know the brides tend to send "real invitations" to people in the church (Sunday worship attendance about 200) who are invited to the reception, and then a note goes into the church bulletin the Sunday before the wedding "opening" the wedding celebration to the rest of the congregation, though not inviting them to the reception, for which "seating is limited."

    Even though we are not "close" with everyone in the congregation, it seems to me the sense of community calls for the whole church to be "really invited." The last-minute half-hearted invitation strikes me as insincere, and I do NOT feel obligation to attend or give presents for such an invitation. The whole women- of-the-church do sponsor and contribute to a wedding shower for such brides, often well before invitations go out.

    I am already contemplating how to deal with such a thing, and I think the only solution for a limited budget is to make a simpler reception to welcome everyone, though I don't know whether renting a larger venue than the church itself in order to accommodate both the church members AND out-of-church guests is appropriate. As hubby says, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. :-)

    Our own wedding was a church function, as the church members helped us to put it on, and that is a precious memory to us--thinking of the melon bowl one family contributed and the several who served at the reception to help make it beautiful. We even cut our cake with the wedding cake knife of one couple who contributed that.

    There are lots of issues to consider!